Embracing Change

The Fabians count freedom from home maintenance and new friends as Bethany's greatest benefits.

As a self-described “Type A personality that’s trying to develop into a Type C,” Tom Fabian is getting plenty of help in his quest these days. No longer does he have to think about mowing the grass, cleaning the pool, and keeping the house in good repair. These days, his most stressful decision is whether to swim laps or take in a fitness class for his daily exercise.

Since moving to Bethany Village in July 2010, Tom’s wife, Mary Lou, says she’s watched her husband become more relaxed and sociable. “There’s not the responsibility of taking care of everything anymore,” she says. “Recently, we visited one of our sons who lives in Pittsburgh, and Tom said, ‘It’s really a pleasure to come home from a trip now because I’m not thinking about all the chores waiting for me.’ It’s a nice change.”

That word – change – carries quite a bit of emotional power. Some people approach it warily, resisting it throughout their lives. Others become bored when life becomes static and continue to seek out the energy change brings.

When Tom first floated the idea of moving to Bethany Village five years ago, Mary Lou was still in the resistance camp. “I guess I didn’t want to admit that I was getting to that stage of life,” she admits. “I still liked my house and always used the pool in the backyard. I wasn’t ready to let it go.”

But Tom wanted the peace of mind of knowing that if something happened to either one of them, they’d already be acclimated in surroundings that made the adjustment easier. “I’m an organizer,” he explains.
Perhaps the blizzards of the past few years helped erase Mary Lou’s reservations, but as she kept talking, the change became one she began anticipating rather than just debating. So, after living in their New Cumberland home for 44 years, the Fabians decided to make the move. “Once we did that, everything just fell into place so easily that we really felt like it was fate,” Mary Lou says.

The ability to embrace change is a personality trait Tom feels many of Bethany Village’s residents have in common. As he walks the campus, he is buoyed by the positive attitude he sees everywhere.
“I’m amazed at the number of people who are very, very active,” he says. “They never seem to complain. They seem to cope with whatever comes to them.  And I’m talking about people who are physically able to move around and those who are in motorized wheelchairs. There seems to be a we-can-do-it attitude that you don’t find in the general population. “

He chalks up part of that attitude to the major bump in social interaction moving to a senior-living community brings. “Soon after we moved here I decided to count the number of conversations we had with different people in one day and we had 29,” he continues. “There’s so much variety in terms of people’s backgrounds and interests, too. That has definitely been the most positive thing about our move.”

Retired from his position as an administrator for the state’s student loan and scholarship program, Tom now volunteers twice a month serving lunch in Gallery Goodies. Mary Lou, who taught swimming and volunteered with Meals on Wheels for 29 years, still maintains her weekly commitment to the New Cumberland Library.

Mainly, though, the Fabians are just enjoying the feeling of community in their new home. “It’s definitely one of the biggest changes we’ve ever faced,” says Mary Lou, “and we haven’t regretted one day of it.”